I believe that deep within the heart of man lies a primordial hunter. If we have cunning, strength, courage and self reliance; these traits were imprinted into our genetic structures as our primitive ancestors perfected their hunting skills. What better rite of passage for the modern man to accept the challenge than our forefathers faced on a daily bases.
Ok, so you have taken a buck from a quarter of a mile away. Maybe you have a bag full of quail shot in flight, or have even taken big game like tigers, and bears, and lions - oh my! This is where the modern man will want to stop reading. The remainder of this article is for the red blooded, hairy chest, moon howling predators – or anyone from Texas.
I challenge you to accomplish the troglodyte trifecta:
(1) Bag a rabbit with a primitive throwing stick.
(2) Drown a gaggle of geese with a gourd disguise.
(3) Slay a feral hog with an atlatl and a throwing dart.
Throwing Stick
Making a throwing stick is not rocket science. If a Neanderthal could do it, I have to like your chances. Find a hardwood stick two inches in diameter and about two feet long. You can break the stick by placing it between two large rocks and hammering it with your big hairy fist and then scraping it smooth with a sharp rock, but if you want to use a saw and a lathe - who am I to judge. Next, practice throwing at a rabbit sized target. Throw side arm, so the stick spins vertically. When you can hit nine out of ten times from a distance of thirty feet, you are ready to hunt. Go to good rabbit country, find a well worn game trail and wait. When the rabbit appears, hit him with the stick. Cruising around at night in a Ford or Chevy with a high intensity light and immobilizing the rabbit is also a good way.
Gourd Disguise
Locate a lake or pond that has geese, ducks will do, yes, even teal. Preferably the body of water will have gourds floating in it. If not, throw some large gourds into it and come back in about a week. Now find a gourd about the size of a Halloween pumpkin, unless your head is larger than a Halloween pumpkin, in which case you will need a larger gourd. Now place the gourd on your head and nonchalantly drift out to where the fowl are floating (a good quality life vest is recommended). When you are close enough to the prey, grab it by the legs and strongly pull downward until the ducks head is beneath the water. Hold it there until the duck drowns. While it is perfectly acceptable to brag about this feat to your buddies, it is very, very important that you never ever admit this to your wife, girlfriend, mother or daughter. When your buddies tell them about it (and they will), simply laugh and say “ha, ha, very funny”.
Feral Hog Hunting with an Atlatl
If you have gotten this far, you have already proved the kind of man that you are. Hopefully, none of the proof will be admissible in a court of law. In case you didn’t know, I must inform you that hunting feral hogs with an atlatl and throwing sticks can be hazardous to your health. I have included below an excellent site on building an atlatl. Let’s face it: given the size of those hogs, buying a professionally made atlatl might be a good purchase.
You can singel handedly stalk the ferocious feral hog through its native habitat until you force him to fight mano a swino – but I am not suggestion that method. My advice is to find a very small gorge surrounded by steep rocky sides at least ten feet from the ground. Inside the gorge, place large amount of corn in a hog feeder and wait a few weeks. Now, get one or two or twelve of your manliest friends dressed in camouflage and well dowsed in feral hog scent. Take your position on the gorge and –well – your instinctual hunter self will do the rest and you will have become a real manly man.
Lance Morton - Lance Morton is a writer, hypnotists, personal fitness trainer, and the author of Mentally Create your Ideal Weight.
